All of us one day would like to be at “Star Status” like Stephen King, James Patterson, J.K. Rowling and hundreds of others. In the meantime, there is a level that one can easily reach before that and it’s called the Semi-Successful Author status!
- You’ve uploaded your book to the internet.
At long last your manuscript is finally done, the cover image is just right, and you’re ready to receive huge sales. Six months later, still no sales but hey it’s all right! After all, you’re book is available. Just have to be a little patient. Update your photo on social media so people can see the real you…and not the one of you sitting on the couch stuffing chips into your mouth.
- You post about your book on social media.
Sales just aren’t there so you turn to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram and talk about your book. The response is mild but it shows that someone out there actually has a pulse. You buy special pens to autograph books when they come running up to you.
- People mention that they’ve bought your book.
Nothing pleases an author more than when someone comes up to them and says, “I just bought your book today.” The fact that they haven’t mentioned anything about reading it escapes your attention but no matter, the book is in their possession! Walk around like you’re on Cloud 9, maybe clock out an hour early so you can have a celebratory drink.
- Bloggers beg you for an interview.
Your pride swells when a book bloggers asks to interview you about your current novel. The fact that they add the words, “I’ll do it if you’ll stop harassing me!” goes unnoticed. Write down a bunch of witty anecdotes to share with all of your adoring fans. Just remember not to add the story about getting the runs while on vacation in Apache Junction.
- People ask for your autograph
Wow, you’re really famous now! Overlook the fact that it’s a restraining order from people who find you on their lawn at 4am talking about your book. Your signature is now worth something to these people. Hopefully they’ll hang on to it for a couple years and then sell it to the highest bidder online when you really make your mark on the literary world.
- You’re asked to give a talk at work.
You’re first public speaking gig! Never mind the fact that you’re talking about when to remove old produce from the bins so customers won’t see it. Or what is the perfect color is for bananas. Work your book into the conversation while you talk about moldy strawberries.
- You pose for selfies with your fans.
Your adoring fans want to pose with you in the hopes that you’ll post it on social media to be seen by everyone else. Sure it’s a family member but, a fan is still a fan. Be sure to smile but wipe that ketchup off of your face first.
I hope you enjoyed this little collection of signs I shared with you. Feel free to comment of your favorite or perhaps you might have additional ones to share. I’d love to hear from you.